Metamorphosis (Chapter 21)

I woke up in a strange smelling bed, although to be fair it wasn’t unfamiliar. It was the guest bedroom in my grandpa’s house. I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I must have. I sat up and yawned, stretching. I looked at myself in the mirror by the bed, silently wishing that I would see my male body looking back at me, but…as I’d come to realize, that’s just wishful thinking. I rubbed my head and walked to the bathroom to begin my morning routine. I stripped down and climbed in the shower. As the water washed over me I felt myself begin to wake up. I washed my body and walked out to find some clothes. Dressing, washing, preparing for the day…all of these things were second nature to me now. I’d grown so accustomed to this, I was worried if I’d have to remain used to this forever.
“Chase?”
“Yes, grandpa?” I called back. Grandpa was outside my bedroom door. I was hardly clothed, but I had my back to him, so he couldn’t see my front. I was okay with this…he was still family after all.
“I just wanted you to know that breakfast is on the table.” He said kindly. “I made your favorite.” I smiled and continued getting dressed.
“Have you…heard about Dad yet?” I asked.
“Yes, you’ll be happy to know he’s okay, but we’ll talk more about that over breakfast, alright?”
“Yessir.” I answered. When he left I continued dressing myself. I put on a pair of tight jeans, a white undershirt and a hoodie jacket over it. It was still freezing cold and since the heater in grandpa’s house was old, I could feel the chill even in the house. That said, I’d always loved Grandpa’s house. There was something about the rustic and antique style to it that I admired. Perhaps I was just a sucker for old fashion buildings and stuff. The house itself was two stories tall and it had that distinct smell of shag carpeting and “old person” smell that no one knows how to describe it. Even so, Grandpa was not that old in my eyes. This time though, the usual smell of the house was replaced by a distinct and lovely fragrance of waffles…and I could feel my mouth watering. I threw on a pair of boots and ran downstairs.
Sure enough, waiting for me in the kitchen was a plate of waffles with chopped strawberries on top and syrup. It was indeed my favorite…and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten it! Grandpa was sitting at the table, his ear to his phone and his face twisted in frustration. He looked angry, but I knew it wasn’t with me…he was trying to reach someone.

“Damn…” He growled.
“What’s wrong, Grandpa?” I asked.
“It’s your mother. She won’t answer her phone. If she doesn’t contact me in an hour or two, I’m going to pull a few strings to get her found.” He muttered.
“You’d really do that?” I asked.
“She’s your mother and she’s my daughter. She has no right to up and abandon you when you’re struggling like this, and she certainly should have told me about this when it first started, I might have been able to help sooner.” He explained. “But that’s enough grim talk right now. Sit down, let’s eat something. Then we’ll talk about your father.” I nodded and took a seat. I said a blessing and began eating right away.

“So…you talked to dad?” I asked.
“Well no, I haven’t.” Grandpa said. “I had a few officers swing by your house to see how he was doing and he’s alright, but he’s rather upset right now. I’ve got an officer with him right now to keep an eye on him.”
“You don’t think he’ll…”
“No.” Grandpa answered shortly.
“I need to tell him to talk to Mom! We gotta get our family back together again or I’m gonna be stuck this way.”
“Calm down, Chase.” Grandpa said firmly. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll visit your father later today. Think you’ll be okay by yourself for a little while?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I answered. I continued eating, wondering what Grandpa was going to tell Dad…and more importantly…if Dad would believe him.

Grandpa left an hour or two later and I was left alone in the house. There isn’t a lot to do around Grandpa’s house but walk around and appreciate it. There was one room in particular I loved to spend time in. I walked into my Grandpa’s lounge where everything was kept nice and neat. The leather sofa was so inviting. As a little boy I used to climb and jump on it constantly until Mom or Dad ran in to make me stop. But now, I could fall back on it and just relax. I slumped into the sofa and had to blow real hard as my long hair had fallen all over my face.
“I still don’t see how girls stand this…I should cut it or something…” I speculated. I stared up at the ceiling and ran my hands down my body, wondering what would I do if I couldn’t fix these problems. My mind was abuzz with fears and possibilities. What if Mom was in trouble? What if Dad did something terrible like suicide? What if Grandpa couldn’t get through to Dad?
*Ring Ring*
“What the?” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I didn’t recognize the number calling and threw caution to the wind, answering it. “Hello, this is Cha-I mean…Cheryl speaking.”
“Hey Chase, it’s me…James. You doing alright?” James?! My memories shot back to the other day when he’d taken me to see his Auntie. He’d pulled my ass out of the fire and really given me hope! For once I was really happy to hear from someone from school.
“Hi James…yeah I guess I’ll be okay. Unfortunately, things aren’t going well with the family. They aren’t cooperating and I might be stuck this way for a while.” I replied.
“Oh! Dang, I’m sorry man…maybe now isn’t a good time then…”
“No it’s fine. What’d you need?” I asked.
“Well, remember how when I last saw you…I asked if you’d like to go to the dance with me? Well, I just wanted to see if you were still up for that.” I cringed as I remembered that now. In return for Auntie’s help I’d agreed to go with him to the dance as a friend if I was still stuck this way by then.
“Yeah, I remember now. Um…what is it agan?” I asked.
“It’s not tomorrow night, but the night after that. Two days from now.” He replied. I nodded slowly, letting that fact sink in. Two days…two days until the dance. Would I be back to normal by then? I doubted it highly. Plus…I realized that, even if I was back to normal in time, there was no way I’d get a date or escort before then…and I did owe James big time for his help. I guess as long as it was just friends…
But then I realized what it might look like if I did go. Would I be giving in to a female identity? What if it wasn’t just as friends? What if people thought I was dating him or something? Would they really think that? I felt hesitant. I didn’t even have something to wear.
“You still there?” He asked, concerned by my long silence.
“Yeah, sorry…just um…thinking about if I’ll be busy.” I answered.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I know that this can’t be easy for you and all…but I promise I’ll try not to make it too awkward.” He said. I sighed real long and low, wrapping my mind around all this.
“I dunno, James. It just feels so sudden and…I’m not sure. I’m really sorry James.” I grumbled. “Can you give me the day to think about it? I’ll call you with my decision later, okay?”
“Oh…oh yeah, of course! I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable after all. Just call me any time tonight. I’m staying at Auntie’s tonight so I’m free all day.”
“Okay sure.” I answered absentmindedly.
“Bye then.” The phone hung up and I set down my own phone, burying my face in the pillow. This was ridiculous. I didn’t know what to do! Was I losing my mind?! How could I say yes to this? Wouldn’t it be just like if I’d agreed to date a boy!? Why would I even want to go to this date in the first place? Then it suddenly dawned on me…I knew who else would be there! Naomii! She was going to be at the dance too, I remember! I could see her there…and maybe…just maybe I could tell her the truth! I could tell her who I really was and…tell her how I feel about her?
“YOU REALLY ARE LOSING YOUR MIND, CHASE!” I screamed at myself. “How will she respond if you tell her all that!? She’ll either think your nuts or stupid. And even if she did believe you, how would it look for you to tell her how you feel looking like this!? What am I gonna do?!” I rolled around on the sofa and buried my face in a pillow. “This is a disaster.”

A few hours later, Grandpa returned and I walked out to the den to meet him. He took off his coat and breathed a sigh of relief to see I was alright.
“Everything alright, Chase?” He asked.
“Yeah…well maybe.” I grumbled. “Grandpa, I need your advice on something.” I said.
“Alright well before we talk, I spoke to your father.” He said. “I’m afraid I have good news and bad news.”
“Well let’s hear it.” I said happily.
“The good news is that he isn’t suicidal…just very depressed and angry. He blames himself for what happened…and I admit he does hold part of the blame, so I don’t fault him for that, but he is intent on making things up to you and your mother.”
“Well that’s good to know.” I sighed. “But what’s the bad news?” Grandpa sat down in his favorite chair and pulled out a pipe. I shot him a curious look and he smirked.
“Don’t tell your grandmother, eh?” He snickered. Grandmom had hated that Grandpa smoked and would always come down on him for it until he agreed to quit. After she died, he still tried to stay off of smoking, but he occasionally had moments of weakness. I shook my head and smiled. Only Grandpa could be so calm in this kind of crisis. “Anyway, the bad news is that I couldn’t get him to see much reason. He’s kind of lost in his own little world and isn’t really willing to listen…although I guess there isn’t a lot of reason in the truth, is there? I might as well have told him some magic beans would turn you back…in fact he might have believed that more.”
“So he doesn’t believe what you said?” I asked.
“I think he’ll come around…but I don’t think telling him will fix anything. I think we need to get you, him, and your mother together to talk this over, okay?”
“Any clues on where Mom is?” I asked.
“Not yet, but I’ve got some police out looking for her. We’ll find her soon. But what was it you wanted to tell me?” I asked. I sighed and began my story. I told him about James and about him asking me to the dance. I wasn’t sure if I should go and I told him how I felt about it. He listened patiently and then sat back, puffing his pipe.
“Well, tell me this…is this James a friend of yours?” He asked.
“Well yes, I guess you could say that…” I muttered.
“Then why not think of it as two friends just going to hang out? He knows who you really are, and that likely would prevent him from trying anything uncomfortable with you.”
“Are you saying I should go?” I asked.
“Not at all. I’m saying that it’s refreshing to know you have someone who knows your secret and is willing to help you out.” Grandpa said. “But you do what you feel is best.”
“That’s…not really the answer I was hoping for.” I grumbled. “I was hoping for a yes or no thing.”
“Really? So you want me to tell you what to do?” I asked. “I figured you were tired of that by now.” I laughed at him and shook my head.
“You have a point…okay okay…I’ll go.”
“Is that what you want?” Grandpa asked.
“Well I dunno what I want. All I really want is to be back to normal, but I know that won’t happen…so I might as well just socialize and get out a little. After all…if I stay here all week and not get out some, I’ll lose my mind.” I sighed. “Besides…Naomii will be there.”
“Naomii? Oh, that girl you like?” He laughed. “I suppose that’s some motivation if ever there was one.”
“I wanna tell her the truth, Grandpa…how do I tell her?” I asked. Grandpa leaned forward and looked me in the eyes.
“You look her in the eye, and you tell her the truth.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.” He laughed.