Metamorphosis (Chapter 13)

When the party finally came, I sat up in my room, only in my underwear. I hadn’t changed into my party dress that mom had gotten and I hadn’t come downstairs for anything. The note that I had found was sitting on my bedside table. I didn’t wanna show my parents yet because I had a plan on how to talk to them about it. I sat quietly, just readying myself. I looked at the dress hanging in my closet and got up from the bed to grab it. As I touched the silky fabric, I remembered the secrets mom and dad were keeping from me, and I felt an undying urge to rip of the garment. I breathed in and exhaled sharply, calming myself. I slipped on the dress and adjusted it in front of the mirror. If my plan was going to work, I needed to look my best for this.
I fixed up my hair and I washed my face. I put on a pair of nice sandals and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked lovely, and I knew that no one would ever guess I was Chase…which was just what I wanted. I smiled and turned to pick up the note and started to put it in my pocket…but then realized that I had none. I was still not used to having a dress on. Where could I put it? I looked down at my cleavage and shook my head.
“Man, I can’t believe I’m about to do this.” I carefully slipped the folded up letter in between my breasts and shivered a little, expecting it to hurt or feel odd. To my surprise, I didn’t feel anything…it acted like an up close and personal pocket or something. Even so, the act of doing it was kind of odd. “Alright, now I just gotta wait for the right moment to whip this out. Let’s see them wiggle their way out of this.” As I said this out loud, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt. Mom and Dad had been doing so much for me…and they did love me tremendously, so was it really fair of me to be plotting to call them out like this? I stared at the note and reread what it said…and my frustration flared up. If they really cared, why were they keeping secrets from me? No, whether it hurt or not, I would get the answers I wanted…no matter what.

Guests started pouring in steadily. Several of Mom and Dad’s friends from their Bible Study class were there and they were all filling up the den and kitchen area. They wore very nice attire and my parents did a great job of keeping them entertained. I chose to wait. I wasn’t going to go down until I was sure that just about everyone had arrived for the party. My plan required an audience. I walked back into my room, feeling my heeled sandals clacking slightly as I walked into the bathroom and cleaned my face.
As I stood in the bathroom, I listened to find out how many had shown up downstairs. Judging from the sound of the chatter, a small crowd had started to form. I turned and walked back out to the balcony and looked to see that there were indeed more people…perhaps enough to get my plan started. I hurried downstairs, careful not to trip while wearing my dress. When I made it downstairs, my mom turned to see me and smiled.
“Oh, hello Cheryl! Thank you for joining us.” A few of the guests turned to look at me and Mom explained everything to them. “This is my niece, Cheryl. She’s staying with us for a while for a teaching internship at my elementary school. Right Cheryl?” I forced a smile, trying hard to look natural.
“Oh yeah…it’s been great. I’m so excited for the rest of the semester.” I replied. Mom smiled and went back to talking. I walked past her and around the room, nodding and smiling. I spoke only when spoken to and was careful not to draw attention to myself. Dad was standing a small group of men, talking and laughing. I felt a slight bit of anger at the fact that he could be keeping secrets about my condition and just…ignoring it like it’s nothing. I couldn’t bring out the note yet though…I had to wait for mom and dad to be together and talking first.

At long last, I saw my chance. When the pizza arrived for the event, this was the sign that everyone had shown up. After everyone was done eating, they would leave the house to go to the church for their bible study…I didn’t have much time. The group gathered around the table to get their pizza and I saw my mom amoung the crowd. I had to make my move now, or never.
“Aunt Stacy, I have a question about the lesson for next week.” I said quickly. Mom turned to look at me in surprise. Dad looked at me as well, both of them wondering what I was talking about. I had their attention…and more importantly, the rest of the group was interested too.
“What…what lesson is that?”
“Oh, well I know we’re doing an English lesson…and I found your notes for it sitting on your bed and decided to look over it myself. I’m not sure I understand what it’s talking about though. Would you mind reading it for me?” I pulled the note out from my cleavage and held it out. Upon seeing the note, my fathers face went pale and he darted forward, snatching the note from my hand…not what I was expecting, but it was indeed a response…which was what I wanted.
“Where did you get this?” He hissed. I sneered back at him.
“Uncle Paul, would you mind explaining it for me then? If you can’t, I’m sure someone else here can.” Dad’s eyes darted around him at his guests, who were all staring at him in surprise and in curiosity.
“What’s wrong, Paul?” A few of them were asking.
“It’s nothing…Cheryl, would you mind if I spoke to you about this in private?”
“Paul, what’s going on?” Mom asked. I glanced at Mom a little shocked. Apparently she didn’t know about the note. So it was Dad who was keeping the secrets? Dad took her hand and whispered in hushed tones.
“Honey, I can explain.”
“Paul…”
“Yes, Dad…explain.” At the word Dad, the room went quiet. I had done what I wanted…I’d called him out on both the note and my real identity. The entire room turned to look at my Dad. Dad flushed furiously and turned around to face his guests.
“Everyone, I apologize for my niece’s behavior. She hasn’t taken her medication and is acting out. I’ll take care of it.” I was about to snap at him, when he suddenly grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the room. The rest of the room was completely silent as he pulled me to his room and threw me inside, following behind me and closing the door behind him. I turned around and growled at him.
“Dad, what the h-”

I never finished what I was going to ask, because my Dad had silenced me. A sharp sting across my cheek brought my words to a halt and I felt my head snap in the direction my father had slapped me. Dad had never done that to me before…not as a boy or a girl. I felt tears build up as I turned to look at my dad through stunned eyes. His face was red with rage and embarrassment. Clutched in his hand was the letter I had found.
“How dare you embarrass me like that…and how dare you give away your secret like that, after we’ve worked so hard to keep it safe.” Dad snarled, breathing heavily. I wanted to shout at him…to scream…to cry…but I couldn’t. I was too stunned by what he had done. “You stole that letter, going through my things…”
“What letter?” My dad turned to see my mom at the door.
“Honey, it’s…I can explain everything.”
“Paul, what are you keeping from us?” Mom snapped, clearly angry now. Dad may be able to stand up to me…but Mom was different. He gave a defeated look and hung his head, walking to his bed and sitting down, breathing slowly.
“…After your miscarriage, you were so sad and so depressed about not having a daughter like you wanted,” Dad muttered, not looking at Mom, “and I didn’t know how to help…that is until two months ago.” He looked at the letter and clenched it in his hands. “I met a strange old woman…she looked like some kind of fortune teller or traveling performer. She said she knew about my sadness…and said she could make it all better. I didn’t believe her…but she told me everything that was on my heart! She knew that I had a son…that I was a detective…that my wife was suffering…and she said that she could fix our family for the better…giving us the daughter we always wanted.” He put his head into his hands and growled under his breathe…but I knew what was coming.
“She gave me some messed up potion and told me to put it in each of our drinks…and that if I did, we’d all get what we wanted…so I did. The night before Chase changed…I slipped us that potion.”

We all stared at dad for a long moment, not sure what to say or do. Mom’s face was white as a sheet and she was trembling. I was just beside myself. The sting from my dad’s slap was still torturing me, but to know that it was all his fault? That dad had been the cause of all this? It was too much.
“This…is what you wanted?” Mom hissed.
“No, of course not!” Dad cried. “I didn’t know it would turn Chase into a girl!”
“THEN WHAT DID YOU THINK IT WOULD DO!?” Mom roared. I jumped a little, unused to Mom losing her temper.
“I…I didn’t think it would do anything, but I didn’t see any harm in trying.” My dad was crying now as tears trickled down his face. “I thought maybe it could take back time…take us back to that day and maybe correct it…so that we could have that daughter you wanted so much…I was a fool, and I ruined our only son’s life.” Dad whimpered.
“You find that woman and tell her to turn our son back!!” Mom snarled. Dad shook his head.
“I tried! I tried!” Dad replied desperately. “I looked everywhere for her…I sent her emails, letters, calls, texts, anything I could! But only the other day did I get a response…this letter. She told me…she couldn’t…do anything about it.” Mom gasped and put her hands to her mouth, her eyes brimming with tears.
“You mean Chase is…”
“I don’t know how we can turn him back.” Dad cried, tears falling on the crumpled up letter. I just watched them, unable to speak…unable to move. I let the information I had just heard sink in…and it cut me deep. My own father, had done this to me…and he couldn’t fix it. What did that mean? What was going to happen to me? I watched as Mom and Dad began to talk to each other again, probably discussing what needed to be done with the guests outside now…but I didn’t really listen to them…I was lost in my thoughts. I felt sick…I felt like I could fall over. This body that I despised…that I wanted to be rid of…was permanent? I was never going back to being Chase again?

“Chase,” Mom walked to me and put her hand on my shoulder, tears falling down her face, “we’re going to lead the guests back to the church now, and come straight home…I’m…I’m so sorry, baby.” She made a move to hug me, and I didn’t stop her, nor did I return it. She just hugged me as I stood like a statue. She then got up and hurried to the door, drying her eyes. Dad didn’t look at me as he got up and walked to the door after my Mom. He was ashamed of himself. Ashamed for letting me down…ashamed for his mistake…ashamed for keeping things from Mom and myself. He couldn’t bear to look me in the eyes. As he hurried out I heard them talking, but I was too dumbfounded to care.
I heard the sound of cars leaving, and the sound of engines passing by the house. I finally felt my legs again and walked out of the room. I walked to the kitchen where the pizza was still sitting there, but I wasn’t hungry…I felt too sick to even look at it. I went and sat down at the table and I put my hands on either side of my head, feeling my long cascading hair. I felt my whole body trembling dangerously. I felt like I could explode…and in a way I did.

I threw my head back and felt tears build up and roll down my face. I sobbed at first…gritting my teeth and fighting back the pain building, but it was useless. I was losing this fight…just like all my other fights until now. At long last, I let it all out.
I screamed. I had never screamed so loud in my life. It wasn’t even a scream, but a cry. I was crying and wailing furiously. Tears released like rivers down my face and I gritted my teeth to stop them, but nothing worked. I was letting it all out. The pain, the frustration, the anger, the sadness,…and the hope. I had no hope left. I was never going to be Chase again. My hopes of having a relationship with Naomi were shattered. My chances at being a real man were gone. My life was over. I finally slammed my face into the table wrapping my arms over my head to hide myself and try to stop my shaking.
“It’s over…it’s all over…” I whimpered weakly, as the tears fell and stained the table, and as my heart began to shatter.